Happy for a few minutes today. One moment at Bible study. One moment when my husband reminded me good health is worth being very happy about. Done.
It’s Day 2 of my Search for Happy and already I’ve got nothing to post.
This could mean 2 things:
1) I might be really happy at this moment but just don’t know it because I’m not familiar enough with Happy to know what it feels like;
2) There was nothing about today that elicited Happy from me.
Does feeling thankful, grateful and an overwhelming sense of relief because disaster was averted qualify as a Happy Moment?
If so, then this afternoon around 5 o’clock I experienced a happy worth crying over. There was so much happiness just in the air inside my car that I was breathless. Or just routine hyperventilating after experiencing dread, fear and panic simultaneously.
About 2 miles from home, the car was no longer shifting properly. There was a grabbing and releasing of something under the hood ignited that sense of dread I mentioned earlier. The grabbing and releasing I felt in the car was echoed by the grabbing feeling in my chest. Fear of the car breaking down somewhere other than the driveway of our home made me panic because cars never break down in convenient places, ever.
As long as the car was moving, it was unlikely to stall. Since it’s both illegal and dangerous to keep moving through traffic lights and stop signs- nine of which were stationed along the two mile road to home- I kept one foot on the brake and the other on the gas every time a stop was required.
Chugging up the last couple of hills and the set of trolley tracks (a very inconvenient place for a breakdown for me or the car), the words “I think I can, I think I can” played on an endless loop in my head.
After one last gasp (mine), the car finally crawled up the driveway and breathed its last.
Shutting off the ignition, I felt relief, gratitude, and a return to normal breathing.
Was I happy?
And I will make a note of that feeling for future reference.
Ever notice someone with a perpetually sunny outlook? The type that exudes happiness, attracting others with contagious positive energy, these people are fun to be around.
I’m not one of those people.
Instead, my countenance is usually serious and focused. Last fall, my husband took me to Disney World for the first time. When we got there, I broke down and had FUN.
Before the best vacation ever, I struggled whenever someone asked, “So what do you like to do for fun?” because I had no answer. Now armed with examples of fun from our Disney visit, it is much easier to give a reply.
Both my sister-in-law and youngest daughter have that “sunny” gene. They are a delight to be with. I want to be just like them. I want to know what fun is. Is there really a genetic predisposition to happiness, or is it environmental?
In order to find out, I will conduct an experiment for the next 365 days. Each day, I will find a way to experience or create happiness. It will not be easy, but if there is a way to experience some happy every day I’m game.
Our border collie Ziva, is extremely focused all the time. Morning and evening she waits by the kitchen counter where we keep a penlight. While she’s not a cat, Ziva goes wild chasing the red dot from the laser pointer all through the house. When we play I’ll spin the light and she runs in circles as if she was chasing her tail.
We’ve done “circles” so many times with the pointer, that Ziva will do “circles, circles” or “spin like a little ballerina” whenever I put my hand in my pocket even without a laser pointer.
I know the place in which you dwell
For I have been there.
It is not Heaven, but is our Hell.
Who’s in charge of these high-speed thoughts?
Racing from the past to circle ’round again
Those gray dark years seen the first time
There is no need
To go back there then.
A part of my life deeply buried
Or so I thought.
Filled with horrific memories
I’d hoped had rot.
But here they come to pick me up
To revisit over and over
Please, please make it stop.
This rumination I cannot control
Forcing my thoughts to come out
From that deep dark hole
Now play back on an endless loop
Childhood days that felt like years
Alone on the playground
Alone at lunch
All through my life
I used to pretend
Those awful times had never been.
But those dark thoughts had
Had taken hold
Of my mind, my life
Never to let go
That I am old.
I fear but cannot escape
Will be my ruination
The only way to stop
That endless loop
To shut it off forever
Will require my end
My endless sleep.
The Event of the Century
The date March 14 is a constant. We know it will show up on our calendars once every year.
With the exception of Mr. and Mrs. Einstein, who threw a birthday party for their son Albert every March 14th, most people consider the date to be unremarkable.
But math teachers, engineers, statisticians and bakers recognize 3-14 as something else- “Pi Day”.
Pi, also known as 3.14 or π is the name given to the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. A mysterious mathematical constant, Pi is celebrated as Pi(e) Day on March 14 by math teachers, students, and math-letes. On that day, classrooms are filled with a plethora of homemade or store-bought pies of all kinds brought in by parents and students. A fun and delicious event, Pie Day is a good day for teachers to use a baked good as a learning tool. A tool, by the way, that is consumed immediately upon digesting an important math concept.
This year’s Pi Day is especially worth celebrating because 3.14.15 is not just another Pi Day (yawn);
It is The Pi Day of the Century. Twice on March 14, 2015 at 9:26 and 53 seconds, the date, year and time will be in perfect alignment with the first ten places of Pi: 3.141592653.
Since the next Pi Day of the Century will not occur until 2117, this year’s Pi Day is truly a once-in-a-lifetime event.
So why not relax, open your old geometry textbook and enjoy a nice slice of pie? (OK, maybe two).
It is extra-special this year after all.