I know the place in which you dwell

For I have been there. 

It is not Heaven, but is our Hell.

Who’s in charge of these high-speed thoughts?

Racing from the past to circle ’round again

Those gray dark years seen the first time

There is no need

To go back there then.


A part of my life deeply buried

Or so I thought.

Filled with horrific memories

I’d hoped had rot.

But here they come to pick me up

To revisit over and over

Please, please make it stop.


This rumination I cannot control

Forcing my thoughts to come out

From that deep dark hole

Now play back on an endless loop

Childhood days that felt like years

Alone on the playground

Alone at lunch

All through my life

I used to pretend

Those awful times had never been.


But those dark thoughts had

Had taken hold

Of my mind, my life

Never to let go

Even now

That I am old.


Those ruminations

I fear but cannot escape

Will be my ruination

The only way to stop

That endless loop

To shut it off forever

Will require my end

My endless sleep.

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