It’s Day 2 of my Search for Happy and already I’ve got nothing to post.
This could mean 2 things:
1) I might be really happy at this moment but just don’t know it because I’m not familiar enough with Happy to know what it feels like;
2) There was nothing about today that elicited Happy from me.
Does feeling thankful, grateful and an overwhelming sense of relief because disaster was averted qualify as a Happy Moment?
If so, then this afternoon around 5 o’clock I experienced a happy worth crying over. There was so much happiness just in the air inside my car that I was breathless. Or just routine hyperventilating after experiencing dread, fear and panic simultaneously.
About 2 miles from home, the car was no longer shifting properly. There was a grabbing and releasing of something under the hood ignited that sense of dread I mentioned earlier. The grabbing and releasing I felt in the car was echoed by the grabbing feeling in my chest. Fear of the car breaking down somewhere other than the driveway of our home made me panic because cars never break down in convenient places, ever.
As long as the car was moving, it was unlikely to stall. Since it’s both illegal and dangerous to keep moving through traffic lights and stop signs- nine of which were stationed along the two mile road to home- I kept one foot on the brake and the other on the gas every time a stop was required.
Chugging up the last couple of hills and the set of trolley tracks (a very inconvenient place for a breakdown for me or the car), the words “I think I can, I think I can” played on an endless loop in my head.
After one last gasp (mine), the car finally crawled up the driveway and breathed its last.
Shutting off the ignition, I felt relief, gratitude, and a return to normal breathing.
Was I happy?
And I will make a note of that feeling for future reference.